Think Indecision: A Poem with Notes to Remove Ambiguity and Accentuate the Significance

Are you worried about being indecisive? Have you ever tried to read a poem and then found yourself mystified by bits of French or references to Sisyphus or Keats or some dead Greek myth or whatnot that you never learned?  And it makes you feel excluded before you’ve even started on the poem? 

Well, no more: Yup, here is your answer. You, too, can enjoy great, meaningful poetry with a little help. 

No need to feel stupid ever again. With the aid of annotations, every reader can enjoy poetry without the burden of uncertainty or independent thought.

For example, here is a brilliant, complex poem about indecision – something we should all aspire to –  that has hitherto been sealed for your protection (i.e., exclusion by means of the secret coded language of poetry).

Enjoy the poem. Read the Notes. Say no to elitism. You got this.

Think Indecision
Let’s hear it for not making up your mind.
Cheers to the wishy-washy of the world
for dithering, dallying, avoiding action proud as punch.
Here’s to the wise minnies who weave or wobble, um and ah.
No, but yeah!

Here’s to those who muse, meander, and muddle, 
who fret and fuss and take their time.
The ones who won’t go boldly from the kitchen to the hall
without checking the saddle on the threshold,
wondering what knock might come at the door. 

Down with the stiff spines, and brass necks.
Stay steady.
Shun impulsive bursts
that shoot you down the primrose path
in your gardening slippers
where the creeping ivy 
will land you in the A & E with a broken wrist. 
You know how dangerous those places are what with the germs.
Not to mention the doctors and the trolley wheels. 
Think. Weigh the bloody downside.
No leaping. Shallower than you … think.
No need to rush into it. 

And for god’s sake, stop smiling.
It’s not natural.

Beware!

Annotations to Remove Ambiguity and Accentuate the Essential Significance 

1. wishy-washy – this is not about the laundry, although it could be. 
2. proud as punch – dates back to the C17th and is used here to encourage people to embrace their inner Mr.Punch and proclaim procrastination and indecision as their chosen identity. In other words, to be their authentic selves and be sure to take their whole self to work, particularly if they are in positions of authority or like hitting their domestic partner with a truncheon.
3. minnies  – an affectionate term for Minenwerfer (German for “mine thrower”) –  short-range WW1 trench mortars used by the Imperial German Army. Close relative of the ninny.
4. go boldly – a deliberate misquotation from the movie Space Whatsit, as split atoms and infinities are too decisive.
5. infinities – typographical error for infinitives.
6. saddle – noun. Please select the definition that best aligns with your lived experience. (N.B. Always remember context is all, and multiple meanings lend complexity and richness to even the most mundane of McPoems).

1. 1. A padded leather seat strapped onto the back of an animal, such as a horse
   2. The small, narrow seat on a bicycle, motorcycle, or similar vehicle.
   3. A raised piece of flooring, wood, stone, or metal placed in a doorway, also known as a threshold.
   4. A low point or ridge connecting two higher mountain peaks, resembling the shape of a seat. 
   5. A premium cut of meat from an animal consisting of both loins on either side of the backbone

7. threshold – a liminal space found in contemporary lyric poetry
8. gardening slippers – available at Marks and Spencer or, for our North American readers, online from L.L. Bean. 
9. primrose – a flower, botanical name primula vulgaris associated with the late Victorian Tory party (UK) 
10. Tory – a member of the Conservative Party
11. primrose path – planted in plays by Shakespeare and leading to everlasting bonfires in Scotland and dalliance in Denmark, with good indecision in both 
12. creeping ivy – an invasive and ubiquitous gardening hazard – the cause of slips, trips, falls, and allergic reactions, and nasty things hide in it. 
13. A&E – Accident and Emergency. Formerly Casualty, Cf. Emergency Room (U.S.), whose occupants are sometimes believed to emerge eventually. Neither is recommended for the faint-hearted. 
14. natural – of course smiling is not natural or normal. For proof, do this simple trick: Let all the muscles in your face relax. Look in the mirror. Are you smiling? No course you’re not

So just be as grumpy as you want and don’t let people bully you into cheerfulness.

15. brass neck – this has nothing to do with balls on a brass monkey.
16. bloody – a deliberate intrusion of the blasphemous
17. beware /bəˈwer/

The word beware originated around the 12th century from the Middle English phrase “ben war”, which literally translates to “be on one’s guard” or “be vigilant”. It is a combination of two elements: the verb be and the adjective ware. Example: The sign “Beware of Trains” is frequently posted where railway engines have been known to go rogue and create hazards for the unwary. Hence the need for the government to increase the ware available on the National Health so we may all Stay Safe. (See warning about “germs” above before accepting any ware from unlicensed sources.)