Appeal to the Grammarians

The temperature’s rising. Time to think about eating outside and settling in at a sidewalk cafe to watch the world go by. But beware! Dangers lurk everywhere and we need new punctuation to express our outraged reaction to a whole range of disasters. I love Paul Violi’s list in this poem. And –  when you do venture out, sit down and order that cappuccino and cannoli – I hope you have better luck than he did.

Appeal to the Grammarians

We, the naturally hopeful,
Need a simple sign
For the myriad ways we’re capsized.
We who love precise language
Need a finer way to convey
Disappointment and perplexity.
For speechlessness and all its inflections,
For up-ended expectations,
For every time we’re ambushed
By trivial or stupefying irony,
For pure incredulity, we need
The inverted exclamation point.
For the dropped smile, the limp handshake,
For whoever has just unwrapped a dumb gift
Or taken the first sip of a flat beer,
Or felt love or pond ice
Give way underfoot, we deserve it.
We need it for the air pocket, the scratch shot,
The child whose ball doesn’t bounce back,
The flat tire at journey’s outset,
The odyssey that ends up in Weehawken.
But mainly because I need it – here and now
As I sit outside the Caffe Reggio
Staring at my espresso and cannoli
After this middle-aged couple
Came strolling by and he suddenly
Veered and sneezed all over my table
And she said to him, “See, that’s why
I don’t like to eat outside.”
–  Paul Violi
Josie Holford

View Comments

Recent Posts

The Affair of the Chocolate Teapot

Midge Hazelbrow, the indomitable co-head of Wayward St. Etheldreda's Academy, took herself for a brisk…

1 month ago

Best Practices, Reading Wars, and Eruption at Wayward

Before the eruption, it was a typical senior leadership meeting at Wayward. Head of School,…

2 months ago

Words Matter

When I taught fourth and fifth grade at a school that didn't assign grades, the…

2 months ago

The Culinary Capers and Comic Catastrophes of Gerald Samper

It was the Gert Loveday review of Rancid Pansies (it’s an anagram) that set me…

2 months ago

Working and Not Working

A post on LinkedIn caught my attention this week.  It's had over 11,000 views so…

2 months ago

Gall, Nerve, Courage, and The Party of Women

 Women's rights campaigner Kellie-Jay Keen of Let Women Speak had a big announcement last week.…

3 months ago